Register Forums Off Topic Forums *NSFW* Joke of the Day

2 replies, 3 voices Last updated by  RainKing 1 week, 3 days ago
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  • #13126

    Julia Jameson
    Moderator
    • Posts 206
    @DonKeydick

    I have been wanting to start this thread for a while as a place to share any and all of your favorite jokes. Please feel free to add your favorite jokes here. Here we go with one I just saw yesterday that made me laugh until I peed a little….

    Q: Is Google male or female

    A: Female, it won’t even let you finish a sentence before making suggestions.

    "Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions." unknown

    The unofficial Mayor of the Dollyverse always "Making DollsBook Great"

  • #13213

    Don Keydick
    Participant
    • Posts 164
    @DKeydick

    Jules is still waiting to hear some of your favorite jokes so please feel free to share any you might know or really like. I am terrible at remembering jokes but I do have one that I specifically tried to get down pat when I used to be in the Restaurant biz. So hear goes my restaurant joke.

    A man and woman go to a fancy restaurant for dinner, as the waiter is telling them about the specials the man notices a spoon in the waiters breast pocket. He asks the waiter why he has a spoon in his pocket to which the waiter replies ” we had this big time efficiency expert come in to help us streamline the service and he noticed that the most often dropped utensil was a spoon so all the waitstaff now keeps a clean spoon handy in their breast pocket.” “I see” said the man ” that makes sense.” As the waiter is serving the couple their soup sure enough the man drops his spoon and the waiter, grinning, hands him the spoon from his breast pocket. Later as he is serving the entrees the man notices a bit of string trailing from the waiter’s fly and asks him what it is for “well the efficiency expert told us that a lot of time is wasted washing our hands after going to the restroom so the little bit of string on my zipper lets me got to the bathroom without getting my hands dirty unzipping and zipping up, I just use the string and let “it” fall out and then I do my business.” “I see” said the man ” but then how do you get “it” back in your pants?” “well” the waiter replies “I don’t know about everyone else but I use the spoon.”

    That one just kills me every time.

    "A woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man" Ulysses Everett McGill
    That is why I have Dolls
    "Making DollsBook Great"

  • #13216

    RainKing
    Keymaster
    • Posts 68
    @rainking

    A Guy sits down at a bar and sees a jar full of 5 dollar bills.

    Patron: Hey looks like you had a good night!

    Bartender: No, that is the Challenge Jar.

    P: Oh, what is that?

    B: You put in $5, and  if you complete 3 tasks, you will win all the money in that jar…

    P: Hrm, Ok so what is the tasks?

    B: First.. You have to Drink this entire bottle of this Brain Melt 200 proof alcohol in one chugging session..

    B: Second, there is a big mean dog out back that has a rotten tooth, you have to go pull it with your bare hands without getting bit.

    B: Thirdly, upstairs, there is this 92 year old Old Maid that has never known the pleasure of a man. You must give her the big O!

    P: Ohhhh noooo that’s way too much for me to try!

    Drunk Patron (Sitting next to the Patron): Heeeeyyyyyy mmaann, I’lllllll Do DOoooo it. Herrrres my fiiiiive bububucks.

    Bar tender takes his money and slides the bottle down the counter… OK 1, 2, 3, GO! The drunk patron then chugs the pint completely down and then shakes his head violently, and says : “Daaammmnnn that waaas haharrrsh! hic!” After a min he composed himself and said OK Whauuuu…what’s nex..nex.. nexxt?

    Bartender: The Dog’s out back…

    DP: ooohh ka kakkkkkay, and then staggers out the back door and u hear the dog growl and bark a bit and then begin wimpering… and whining. and then a couple min later the drunk patron bursts thru the back door, with his pants down around his ankles, and says loudly…

     

     

     

    “OOhkay now whwhere is daa BubuBitch with tha tooof??”

     

    One of my faves LOL

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